afbeck

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2009-12-16T18:29:49Z

The last few weeks have been completely eaten by university, and now that the semester's over, I'm very much looking forward to getting back to work on my novel.

My plan at the moment is to write 1k every weekday and 3k on Saturdays and Sundays. That would get me to my goal of 75k for the first draft of this novel. The most important thing, though, if I don't quite make my quotas, is that I write at least SOME everyday. This long break I've had to take for uni would've made it horribly difficult to get back into the story had I lot left off at a place I'm really looking forward to writing. As it is, I'll have to re-read everything. As long as I work on it a little everyday, I can keep it straight in my head.

The worst obstacle right now is working at my apartment. I was doing fine going down to the library on campus to write, but writing at home is... I don't know. There must be some kind of block. Considering that the library is now much more difficult to get to with the uni shuttles not running over the break, my goal today is to set up a work space that I can use in my apartment.

I may also just have to pull out the broadband cable because the interwebs are distracting as hell, guys.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to saying hello to Christie again. I wonder how long he'll sulk at me before he lets me get in the swing of writing him again.

Pleasant Street

2009-11-12T01:06:34Z

Today, I was writing in the university library with my music on low and decided to listen to some Tim Buckley. I knew I liked him, but I hadn't listened to him much, so I thought he would be a good choice.

Turns out, I found a theme song for my story, so I thought I'd share it here.

Inspiration Collage

2009-11-01T00:39:59Z

I'm going to be using this journal for the next month to track my progress with NaNoWriMo, fair warning to those who forgot they had the LJ friended.

Not quite sure what I'm going to write yet, but I'm sort of working with a few ideas I've had for a long time which never came together for a story. So far it's looking like a surreal utopia/dystopia sociological speculative thing with elements of the 1950s-70s and Ancient Greece/Rome. A bit self-indulgent, but it's NaNo.

To help myself out, I put together a digital inspiration collage to keep my brain on track.

Belief despite failure?

2008-08-09T10:04:42Z

It's possible that I'm simply not a short story writer. Either way, it's not working out. I've become absorbed in a novel project. Part of the problem with this is that I can't quite shake the feeling that I won't be able to finish. I know, I know; just because I haven't finished any novels before I fear I won't this time either! How ridiculous!

But I'm not sure that I can work under the condition of not believing in my ability to finish. Even if I never have finished before, I need to believe I can. How do I do that?

Anyway, I'm currently chipping away at an outline for said novel project using this. It's going well so far. I think I've set up a fairly good situation for my characters. Now, I just need to figure out where I'm going with it. I've never started a novel with a complete outline from start to finish. I think that may really help, consider my sputter-outs tend to come when I feel like there's no way I can make all of my plot threads come together in a satisfying ending.

Hunting for inspiration and other cliches.

2008-05-18T20:09:23Z

The stereotypical Dumb Fan question that authors complain about: Where do your stories come from? (Or characters or inspiration or however it's phrased.)

Perhaps it's because I'm kind of a pain this way, but I don't think it's the horrible question it's generally painted as. However, every time I try to answer it, I can't quite do it. This time, I even tried to keep track of my inspiration for the short story, which has the current WIP title Crash.

I started by looking for characters. I thought, I want a male lead this time. I want him to be a soldier, because I like writing soldiers. I want there to be a space ship, because I like ships. I want to play the MC off of a douchey officer who thinks he's better than MC. And I want a female character who MC will bond with in a non-sexual way because, oh look, MC is gay.

I can write that entire process down here, because it only barely touches what the story is actually about.

There is this big haze between the shallow idea of who the characters were and the point where they became strong enough to make a plot around. They were already strong enough for that by the time I started fleshing them out using Holly Lisle's Character Workshop. It just took finding out more about them to decide exactly which path the plot would take at that point, and the point of inspiration came sometime just before that.

Perhaps it was when I found pictures of them. I use stock.xchng to find pictures of what my characters look like, to help with description and such. I remember when I first saw the picture I would use for the MC, who was named Juda by then, there was switch somewhere in me that flicked on. But was that inspiration? I already had an idea of what he looked like in my mind. I knew what race he is, that he's been in the military since he was sixteen years old, that his family was lower class--though the details of those circumstances wouldn't become clear until the fleshing out stage.

What inspired him?

The only answer I can come up with is everything. Everything I know inspired him. He's a soldier because I grew up around soldiers, and because I feel strongly about soldier-related issues, and because I like exploring the depths of the military because I don't trust it as a whole. He's gay, in part, because it causes some conflict in the story and keeps the relationship with the girl from being seen as sexual. He's gay because gay issues also matter a great deal to me, and how those issues are treated by the military and other soldiers--good and bad. He has a strong, almost blind sense of duty because it's a trait I've seen a lot of and which I do not have, so I find it fascinating.

Juda is inspired by a hundred different pieces of things I've picked up over time.. And the female MC is inspired by a hundred different pieces. It makes me feel like my characters are made from pebbles and wires and pocket lint and chewing gum that I've found lying around. Somewhere in there, the hodgepodge comes together and turns into flesh.

I still can't track just where that somewhere is. Even for a short story like this.

It's kind of hopeless to really answer that question, I know, but I think I'll always try.

In the end, of course, I don't think that where is what matters. Ideas come and go, writers are the ones who do the work required to turn the ideas into something that can share the ideas with others. It's been a while since I actually did the work like this, and I'm surprised to find that calling it work doesn't make it any less enjoyable to me; it just makes it seem more fulfilling.

On the subject of work and inspiration, here is one of the tools I use to help flesh my stories out. It is, maybe not so coincidentally, called Inspiration. I was introduced to this program through Holly Lisle's blog (when I'm published, I should write her a letter about how greatly she's affected my writing despite our vast personal differences), and I use it for a ridiculous number of things, depending on what the story calls for.

This particular story called for something to help me keep track of all the people who had led the two main characters to where they are by the time we meet them. Aside from the two real pictures, which are stock photos, the pictures are clip art from the program, and the race diversity isn't 100% awesome.

Reading -- None so Blind by Joe Halderman

2008-05-14T18:22:57Z

One of my goals this summer, while getting my brain back into writing on a regular basis, is to read more. As this goal is subordinate to my main goal--that is, writing a publishable short story--I'm reading short stories. Mostly from old Asimov's and F&SF magazines that I got in 7-pack bundles for $5. How I do love second-hand book stores.

Today's story was None so Blind by Joe Haldeman from Asimov's November 1994, which can be read in full online. As it says on the linked site, it seems the story won the Locus and Hugo awards for best short story, but I didn't know that when I started reading. To be honest, I started reading because the title snagged my interest, and because it was the length I wanted to read at the moment. The art that accompanied it nearly turned me off, because I don't tend to read contemporary pieces. I gave it a chance anyway, and I'm glad that I did.

Part of this goal of mine is not only reading, but analyzing why a story is good or bad. Already, I see that the title is important. This is one of my weaknesses--I'll need to work on it. Another aspect that worked to keep me reading to the end* was the tension he created by dropping in mentions of things going wrong later in the story. While it's obvious that things will eventually go wrong in most stories, it is clear that whatever goes wrong will not be expect. And it wasn't, even though I was expecting something. Which is kind of magical. Or, no, no magical. Talent and skill did it--it just seems magical when you're caught up in the story.

The POV used in the story was also very effective. The POV was funny and playful and when he dropped bombs on you, they always went off before you realized that it wasn't funny and playful anymore. One thing I found less effective about the voice was the occasional digressions into explaining the science. I always find this a touch off putting, because I'm not so into hard science, and it's either over my head or talking down. I prefer it to be over my head, honestly. The story still works without understanding precisely what is going on with the science, though the science is necessary to the story. This is a feat in itself, of course, but the most blatant watered-down explaination about computer partitions was the only point where I got distracted and put the story down for a moment.

I still find parts of this story powerful in ways I don't understand yet, as far as craft. I don't know how some of the details he put in are so disturbing to me, and I don't know how much of that is a personal thing. Brain rearranging is one of my major fears, and though this wasn't brain damage (which is where the fear comes from) that it involved poking about in the brain may have affected me more than the average person.

I'm also not sure how I feel about the way the ending was handled. Part of me thinks it was just a touch too rushed, and part of me thinks I would have felt impatient if it hadn't in such a fast-paced way. Endings are always tricky for me as a writer. I should go through the ending of this story a few more times to help see what worked and didn't work for me.

*This isn't easy. I'm an impatient reader due to my slight dyslexia and the headaches it can cause. A good story is worth the headache. A bad story isn't.

I always seem to be beginning.

2008-05-11T21:45:39Z

The good thing about university is that it has many founts of inspiration for a writer. Everything learned could become a story, one way or the other, and it forces the brain to stay awake for those ideas when they come. The bad thing about university is that there isn't actually any time to write. Especially when you're constantly pushing yourself to make A's.

So, this summer, I have two goals. I wish to prove to myself that I can be successful even if I don't make perfect grades at university, and I wish to prove to myself that my writing can be published. My plan to achieve these goals is to write a short story (or several), and actively work to get one or more of them published. Once I'm comfortable with that, I can move on to writing novels again. I will be using this journal to both mark my progress and get the random thoughts out of my mind before I start writing every day.

The planning will begin on the 14th and the writing will begin on the 19th--or earlier if the inspiration arises. Let's see how this goes.